Megan Fox does a half-assed “If I Could Turn Back Time” Cher on the cover of next month’s Rolling Stone magazine, only without the thigh-high boots or the Iowa-class battleship backdrop. I just hope Cher will break out that see-through catsuit again and show this smarmy little bitch how it’s really done. You know, when she finally finishes her stint Madame Tussaud’s and has a little more free time. All that retiring can really keep a woman busy!
It’s still unclear whether or not Megan Fox is dating Brian Austin Green. At the very least, the pair is hanging out and having sex. (Damn you, BAG!)
But if anyone is hoping to steal the actress from the actor, she recently offered a look inside her heart, telling People:
“I don’t like boys who are mean to their mommies. That’s a real turn off for me. And I don’t like boys who aren’t chivalrous. To me, not being respectful is a big deal.”
While at the Toronto International Film Festival, Fox added:
“I like someone who has a super gentle spirit and energy. I’m really gentle, and so I like a boy who will treat me that way.”
She’s also a complete and utter bitch, at least according the crew of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Shockingly, Fox dismisses this criticism.
“I was never a bad girl and still not,” Fox said. “I just speak my mind openly. That’s who I am.”
Megan Fox warned us.
In the latest issue of Wonderland, she said she had mental problems.
So at least Transformers director Michael Bay can refer to that quote when he’s asked about his supposed similarities to Hiter. Yes, Hitler.
Speaking on the man that helped make her career, Fox said in the same magazine interview:
“He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. He’s a nightmare to work, for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward. He has no social skills at all. It’s endearing to watch him. He’s vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he’s a tyrant.”
Look, Megan Fox (and insane people at town hall meetings around the nation): Can we please stop comparing people to Hitler? This sinister individual murdered people in a brutal fashion that’s unmatched in history.
Comparing Michael Bay or Barack Obama to him insults the memories of Jewish people; and simply shows a lack of intelligence on your part for needing to resort to such extreme, nonsensical referneces to make a point.
One wonders why Fox continues to screw herself by saying dumb things. Millions of men around the world would gladly do this deed for her.
If I’m ever going to wield my vision of an absolute gynocracy on an unsuspecting public, I’m going to need someone like Megan Fox in “Jennifer’s Body” to spearhead my campaign — someone who has all the power of a soul-sucking demon, but still renders men helpless with the overwhelming desire to masturbate. Otherwise Hillary Clinton would be my obvious first choice.
Considering the Megan Fox nude photos that have surfaced online, it’s clear this actress is going to hell.
At least that’s what her religion taught her to believe.
“I was raised Pentecostal, which is one of the most extreme denominations of Christianity that exists. Everything is evil and wrong and will send you to hell,” Fox said in a recent interview.
These sins certainly include anything at all related to nudity and sex.
“I had lots of talks about how sex was evil, sex was bad,” she said. “I don’t ever feel sexy in small clothes. I always feel really insecure.”
It’s safe to say that Fox has done her best to overcome these fears, often posing in skin-baring outfits. Men everywhere are happy to help the star grow more and more secure.
As for her role in the upcoming movie Jennifer’s Body, Fox says the portrayal of a man-eating teenager that gets possessed by a sex-crazed spirit has been cathartic.
“I get to exercise my demons through her. She has really deep, unfriendly insecurities which I can relate to.”
We’re really sorry, guys.
It’s been days since we last presented you with a set of Megan Fox pictures.
The actress covered seemingly every magazine on the planet during the weeks leading up to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but she’s fallen stragely silent ever since.
Fortunately, the beauty anchors a new movie, Jennifer’s Body, which hits theaters next month. Expect the latest issue of SciFi Now to be the first in a long line of publications that features the ravishing star. Score!
